Part of the Health at Every Size philosophy is that it is important to find a type of movement that you enjoy, and to make it a regular part of your life. H@ES does not treat exercise as a punishment, you don't have a hooded figure standing over you with a lash to get your fat ass onto a treadmill because you ate that slice of chocolate cake and DESERVE to be punished. That's not how it works. You ate the slice of chocolate cake because it tasted good, and you wanted it, and you stopped when you didn't want any more. The treadmill and that cake have nothing to do with each other.
So therein lies my problem. I have a hard time finding movement that I actually enjoy doing. Well, that's not really true. I have lots that I enjoy doing when I'm actually doing it, but I don't anticipate doing it. The distinct lack of anticipation makes it really hard to get myself out there and doing movement. Once I'm on the treadmill, in the pool, doing yoga, or Wii / Kinecting, I actually enjoy it. But when I think about doing it, I find all of the excuses possible to put it off. I don't want to go in the morning, because I hate getting up any earlier than I have to. I don't want to go after work because it has already been a long day and if I go to the gym after work, I won't get home til around 8 or 9 p.m. since I get out of work around 6. I don't take a lunch, so that is out. Even if I do manage to convince myself that I WILL do something after work, the truck takes over and drives straight home rather like a horse returning to the barn for evening feeding time. Then I walk in the door and instead of doing one of the many options at home for movement, I find myself diving right into cooking dinner then a little housework, then onto the computer and oh my goodness it can't be bedtime already!
I think that is the problem for a lot of people who are trying to find their way to a healthy lifestyle. It isn't living the lifestyle itself that is the problem, it is finding the energy to make the changes necessary to be healthy. They always have the option to actively choose to not be healthy, and for those who do choose that option, it is not my place to judge them to be right or wrong. Your body, your call, that's how that works. No one has the right to tell someone else that they HAVE to live a healthier life. But for those who want to do so and can't seem to manage it, life can get frustrating.
Have you ever wanted something so badly but found yourself finding excuses not to try for it? Don't tell me that you haven't, because everyone does it at some point in their life. Some people find their way around that roadblock, but some are stuck there, trying to peek around or over it to see what is on the other side, never able to get a good enough handhold to pull themselves past. That is really bad enough, but then you get the Helpful People, who truly believe that "Anyone can do it! Look at me!" and commence with the inspirational stories about how Aunt Millie was so out of shape that she couldn't take five steps without a respirator, but she pulled herself up by the bootstraps and just finished her fifteenth tri-athalon yesterday! In a more detached moment I can appreciate that they are a Helpful Person, who is trying really hard to just Be Helpful. They aren't doing it to be cruel or to make light of the roadblock, they really feel that it is just a case of mind over matter.
For some that works. Watching back to back to back episodes of "The Biggest Loser" may actually get some people out there, moving and eating better. (Let's not debate the merits and drawbacks of that show now, folks. I understand that a lot of the Fatosphere hates the training methods and lack of follow-through that the show offers, not to mention the completely unrealistic circumstances that the contestants find themselves in. Not many of us can quit our jobs for 6 months and focus on exercising for 4 to 8 hours per day, not that this would be a healthy thing to do anyway. I get it. Different column there, though!) But if the inspiration is there for you, and it works for you, that is awesome! Unfortunately, not everything works the same way for everyone.
Hey...isn't that rather like the fact that not every BODY is the same? So while some can lose weight following the adage of "Calories in should be fewer than calories out.", other people's bodies don't work that way. And while some people can get up off the couch, start walking today, and do a marathon next month, not every body works that way. While some people can say, "Tomorrow I'm going to start getting up at 5 a.m., go to the gym, and then go to work every day." and accomplish that goal, not everyone has it that easy.
And so we find ourselves back where I started: wanting to move, and yet not wanting to move.
I can hear you now, oh Faithful Readers. You are saying, "Ummmmm...Lys? You typed all of that out only to end up where you started? What was the point of all of this, then, anyway???"
The point is that this is something that no one can really help me with, and really, it is something that no one can help ANYONE with. You can't decide that your husband, your wife, your child or your great aunt thrice removed on your mother's father-in-law's side should be exercising more. You can't push them to go find something active to do and use guilt or bullying to achieve that. You can't hit them with Helpful Advice or Inspirational Stories until they fall to their knees and beg for mercy. For a large number of people, these kinds of things only lead to that rebellious voice in the back of their mind telling them, "If they're so gung-ho about exercising, let THEM go do it. We aren't going to be pushed into ANYTHING! Here...let's sit on the couch and watch cartoons.'
So if you really want to show your love and caring for the person in your life who is dealing with this dilemma, let them know that you are there for them. Tell them that you support them in whatever they decide to do. Encourage them to make their own choices, to explore their own options, and to be happy with themselves as they are. Being happy with yourself as you are doesn't preclude making changes, it doesn't mean giving up as some folks would like us to think. Being happy with yourself is just that...being happy. Be happy with yourself when you are moving, be happy with yourself when you are watching another episode of "Top Chef". Be happy with yourself, love yourself, and you will end up surprising yourself because we are much more likely to take good care of the things that we like and to ignore the things that we don't like.
Now, here I sit, finishing typing this and looking at the clock. It is late, I am tired. I will not get up early tomorrow and go to the gym. I know this without question. I think, though, that I'm one step closer to getting my head into the right place to start anticipating movement. I hope so. I want to feel happy with moving, I want to have the breath control that will let me sing more than a measure and a half without needing to gasp for air. I want to feel good when I move. I haven't felt that in a while now.
Yeah...getting closer. I hope that you are closer to being happy with yourself too. Because between you and me, I believe that you are pretty damned awesome right now, just as you are, and that if you choose to make changes in your life, then you will still be pretty damned awesome but will just be PDA in a different flavour than you are now. So you go, you Neopolitan Wonder, you! See you on the Happy, Awesome Side!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Persecution versus Paranoia
I firmly believe in trying to be as tactful and considerate in my dealings with others as I can. There are times when that tact is at the end of a verbal blunt instrument, as I do not believe that being tactful means not telling the truth, but overall I try to make an effort to put things in as polite a manner as possible. I believe that manners define civilization, and I don't mean the superficial manners that people use to hide negatives, but real and honest manners.
That said, I understand that there are those out there who do not live by this rule. Some believe that honesty and bluntness to the point of rudeness are the same thing (a theory that I do not ascribe to), some just open their mouths without stopping to think about what they are saying regardless of how it may make others feel, and yet another group deliberately says things that are hurtful in order to project their own pain and shortcomings onto others so that they can have one small moment of superiority to salve their wounded self-esteem.
I think that it is important to those of us who are trying to change the world's perceptions regarding fat and fat people to be very careful when we are reading / hearing the things being said around us. It is very easy to read a quote by someone and immediately assign motives to it without those motives being there. Everyone does that to some extent, I am certainly no saint and have been known to get upset about something only to find, to my embarassment, that I was completely mistaken about what just happened and that I inadvertantly applied my own faults to someone else.
"But Lys, what brought this on? Because this isn't your usual blog about living as a Fat Superhero!"
I thought that you would never ask!
Recently Miley Cyrus has come under fire on Twitter and other places for "getting fat". Now remember that Hollywood Fat and Regular People Fat are two different things, but still, the point is that people have been judging her harshly for her body size. She, being a shy and retiring type like me (Hey! Stop laughing!) shot right back at them by posting a photo of a very emaciated young woman and the words, “By calling girls like me fat, this is what you’re doing to other people.”
I can't tell you what she was thinking, because I don't happen to know Ms. Cyrus, but if I had to guess, I would think that she was saying that people who bludgeon others about their body shape are people who contribute to the rising number of young people with eating disorders and body dysmorphia. I applaud her for throwing that out there and not giving in to those who feel that just because a person is a celebrity, anyone has the right to tell them that their body shape is wrong. (My feelings on how people have this odd belief that they OWN celebrities body and soul will have to be discussed another time.)
What dismayed me was the reaction in the Fatosphere. There were many who took what she said and twisted it in their own minds. Suddenly, instead of being a young woman telling people that it is no one's business what decisions she makes regarding the care of her body, it became a famous person saying that it's not all right to call slender people fat, but it's quite all right to call fat people fat. *blink blink* Um. Okay. I'm not really sure how THAT leap of logic happened. And it really bothered me that I saw this knee-jerk reaction in more than one place.
If we want to change the world, if we want the world to respect us and our viewpoint, then by whatever you believe in (no religious debate here, please!), we HAVE to show that same kind of respect! We absolutely HAVE to know the difference between Persecution and Paranoia. When someone comes out with a statement such as the one made by Ms. Cyrus, it is absolutely imperative that we take it at face value rather than ascribing hidden motives to it. Statements such as hers should be used to bolster our position, because what she said is true when you look at it without assuming anything about her motives. We should embrace statements such as this, and the people who make them, because the more people who are saying it the better the chance that it will actually become the mindset of the public as a whole.
I believe that one of the worst things that those who support Health at Every Size and equal rights for Fat Superheroes can do is to turn potential allies against us by putting words in their mouths. We cannot assume persecution where there is not any to be seen. That is paranoia, and it is unhealthy for us as individuals and as a movement. Believe me, there is more than enough true persecution out there without us feeling the need to turn benign statements into persecution through our own paranoia. Really, this can be applied to any sensitive subject. There is a reason that people get tired of political correctness, and that reason is that some people take it way too far. I know that common sense has become a very uncommon thing, but that is what needs to be applied.
So whenever you see a statement that seems to carry a double meaning, before you jump to the conclusion that the person it originated with meant it to be insulting, please take a moment and think. Give the benefit of the doubt whenever possible, because what goes around comes around, and if enough people start giving the benefit of the doubt, then the next time you or I finds ourselves in a situation where we might like a little ketchup to help the taste of that foot that's in our mouth maybe someone will give us the benefit of the doubt as well. It doesn't hurt anyone, and instead it may end up helping us all.
That said, I understand that there are those out there who do not live by this rule. Some believe that honesty and bluntness to the point of rudeness are the same thing (a theory that I do not ascribe to), some just open their mouths without stopping to think about what they are saying regardless of how it may make others feel, and yet another group deliberately says things that are hurtful in order to project their own pain and shortcomings onto others so that they can have one small moment of superiority to salve their wounded self-esteem.
I think that it is important to those of us who are trying to change the world's perceptions regarding fat and fat people to be very careful when we are reading / hearing the things being said around us. It is very easy to read a quote by someone and immediately assign motives to it without those motives being there. Everyone does that to some extent, I am certainly no saint and have been known to get upset about something only to find, to my embarassment, that I was completely mistaken about what just happened and that I inadvertantly applied my own faults to someone else.
"But Lys, what brought this on? Because this isn't your usual blog about living as a Fat Superhero!"
I thought that you would never ask!
Recently Miley Cyrus has come under fire on Twitter and other places for "getting fat". Now remember that Hollywood Fat and Regular People Fat are two different things, but still, the point is that people have been judging her harshly for her body size. She, being a shy and retiring type like me (Hey! Stop laughing!) shot right back at them by posting a photo of a very emaciated young woman and the words, “By calling girls like me fat, this is what you’re doing to other people.”
I can't tell you what she was thinking, because I don't happen to know Ms. Cyrus, but if I had to guess, I would think that she was saying that people who bludgeon others about their body shape are people who contribute to the rising number of young people with eating disorders and body dysmorphia. I applaud her for throwing that out there and not giving in to those who feel that just because a person is a celebrity, anyone has the right to tell them that their body shape is wrong. (My feelings on how people have this odd belief that they OWN celebrities body and soul will have to be discussed another time.)
What dismayed me was the reaction in the Fatosphere. There were many who took what she said and twisted it in their own minds. Suddenly, instead of being a young woman telling people that it is no one's business what decisions she makes regarding the care of her body, it became a famous person saying that it's not all right to call slender people fat, but it's quite all right to call fat people fat. *blink blink* Um. Okay. I'm not really sure how THAT leap of logic happened. And it really bothered me that I saw this knee-jerk reaction in more than one place.
If we want to change the world, if we want the world to respect us and our viewpoint, then by whatever you believe in (no religious debate here, please!), we HAVE to show that same kind of respect! We absolutely HAVE to know the difference between Persecution and Paranoia. When someone comes out with a statement such as the one made by Ms. Cyrus, it is absolutely imperative that we take it at face value rather than ascribing hidden motives to it. Statements such as hers should be used to bolster our position, because what she said is true when you look at it without assuming anything about her motives. We should embrace statements such as this, and the people who make them, because the more people who are saying it the better the chance that it will actually become the mindset of the public as a whole.
I believe that one of the worst things that those who support Health at Every Size and equal rights for Fat Superheroes can do is to turn potential allies against us by putting words in their mouths. We cannot assume persecution where there is not any to be seen. That is paranoia, and it is unhealthy for us as individuals and as a movement. Believe me, there is more than enough true persecution out there without us feeling the need to turn benign statements into persecution through our own paranoia. Really, this can be applied to any sensitive subject. There is a reason that people get tired of political correctness, and that reason is that some people take it way too far. I know that common sense has become a very uncommon thing, but that is what needs to be applied.
So whenever you see a statement that seems to carry a double meaning, before you jump to the conclusion that the person it originated with meant it to be insulting, please take a moment and think. Give the benefit of the doubt whenever possible, because what goes around comes around, and if enough people start giving the benefit of the doubt, then the next time you or I finds ourselves in a situation where we might like a little ketchup to help the taste of that foot that's in our mouth maybe someone will give us the benefit of the doubt as well. It doesn't hurt anyone, and instead it may end up helping us all.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Even the surefooted stumble once in a while
I try to be a confident person when it comes to my belief in Health at Every Size. I have taken a long time to get to this point, and generally I believe that I have built a very solid foundation that I can use to help change the world (even if only a little at a time). But every day is still a struggle in some ways, a fight against old habits, old thoughts, and the pressure from society in general to fall into line with the generally accepted way of looking at weight.
When my knees and ankles hurt, when I find myself getting tired, I have to really work not to fall back into the old ways of thinking. I'm still working on that part of things, you see. I KNOW with my head that it isn't my weight that is the problem, it is my health, and that they are two different things. I KNOW with my head that I need to find some way of moving in order to strengthen the muscles and framework that holds them. If I end up losing weight because of that movement, well, then I will love the version of me that exists in that moment as much as I love the version of me that exists right now.
But in the back of my head, that insidious little whisper still hides in its dark corner, coming out at irregular intervals. It mutters to me that I hurt because I'm fat, not because my joints are weak and arthritis is slowly eating away at my system. It tries to brush aside the knowledge that I likely would have arthritis even if I were in the ideal portion of the BMI range, and scoffs quietly, stating that the reason I hurt is that I'm fat and lazy and have no will power.
I fight that dark little whisper more often than I should have to, more often than ANYONE should have to fight. When I think of it, I think of the scene in "The Ten Commandments" when the Angel of Death is coming to take the eldest child of every house except for the ones with the marks on the doors. That fog, twisting and squirming its way through the city, looking alive and sinister as it moves, and the sense of dread that accompanies it. That is what the dark little whisper in my mind is like. It slips through the tiniest crack, oozes over the crannies of my mind, finding weaknesses and using them to gain entry into my thoughts.
I know that this blog generally focuses on the positive. I like to urge others to join myself and those fighting to get our voices heard against the overwhelming static being sent out by The Weight Loss Industry and their paid researchers. So right now, today's entry may seem like a black spot of negativity in the midst of the bright positivity that I try to normally promote, but really...it isn't.
EVERYONE who is fighting the battle of learning to love their bodies goes through this. EVERYONE. It may take different forms, you may find yourself saying things differently than I do, or you may picture your dark little voice differently, but I can tell you that the voice is there for everyone. I hope that it can be vanquished forever, and that spot of darkness can be banished by the light eventually, but I will be honest and tell you that I think it will remain there for my whole life, no matter how hidden it remains.
It is my hope to be part of a change, a change that means future generations of people grow up without ever hearing a dark whisper like mine. I write these blog entries and speak up about H@ES and the mindset that goes with it so that children have a chance to live their lives without ever fighting the battle against their own head, so that they don't have to struggle for over forty years just to learn to love themselves. No one should hate themselves for that long, and the companies who encourage that self-hatred just so that they can make a profit should be ashamed of themselves.
So yes, my children, I have my weak moments. I have times when I wonder what life would have been like if I had been slender instead of fat. I cry now and then, because for every two steps that we take forward in learning to appreciate people for themselves, fully and completely, rather than trying to change them to fit some kind of mythical ideal, we take one step backwards by allowing The Weight Loss Industry to dictate our political policies, our health system, and our minds. I live with the dichotomy of learning to love myself while remembering how much I have hated myself. I live with the hope that I will see the first generation to grow up without that self-hatred, and I live with the fear that it will never happen in my lifetime.
Even the surefooted stumble once in a while, and this is how I stumble. All that I can do when I take that fall, though, is to get back up and brush myself off then keep moving forward. It would be easier to just stay there, to give up and give in, to just say, "You're right. I'm fat because I'm weak-willed and worthless. Do with me as you will. Starve me, shame me, browbeat me. I give up." but I can't. I just can't. I am NOT weak-willed, I am NOT worthless. I will climb to my feet, rise onto my aching, arthritic legs and take the next step forward. I do it for myself, because I'm worth it, and I do it for those to come, because they are worth it too.
Even if you stumble, get up again. Continue to fight against anyone or anything who tries to tell you that you aren't worth it. Even if that person is yourself. You are worth it. We are all worth it.
When my knees and ankles hurt, when I find myself getting tired, I have to really work not to fall back into the old ways of thinking. I'm still working on that part of things, you see. I KNOW with my head that it isn't my weight that is the problem, it is my health, and that they are two different things. I KNOW with my head that I need to find some way of moving in order to strengthen the muscles and framework that holds them. If I end up losing weight because of that movement, well, then I will love the version of me that exists in that moment as much as I love the version of me that exists right now.
But in the back of my head, that insidious little whisper still hides in its dark corner, coming out at irregular intervals. It mutters to me that I hurt because I'm fat, not because my joints are weak and arthritis is slowly eating away at my system. It tries to brush aside the knowledge that I likely would have arthritis even if I were in the ideal portion of the BMI range, and scoffs quietly, stating that the reason I hurt is that I'm fat and lazy and have no will power.
I fight that dark little whisper more often than I should have to, more often than ANYONE should have to fight. When I think of it, I think of the scene in "The Ten Commandments" when the Angel of Death is coming to take the eldest child of every house except for the ones with the marks on the doors. That fog, twisting and squirming its way through the city, looking alive and sinister as it moves, and the sense of dread that accompanies it. That is what the dark little whisper in my mind is like. It slips through the tiniest crack, oozes over the crannies of my mind, finding weaknesses and using them to gain entry into my thoughts.
I know that this blog generally focuses on the positive. I like to urge others to join myself and those fighting to get our voices heard against the overwhelming static being sent out by The Weight Loss Industry and their paid researchers. So right now, today's entry may seem like a black spot of negativity in the midst of the bright positivity that I try to normally promote, but really...it isn't.
EVERYONE who is fighting the battle of learning to love their bodies goes through this. EVERYONE. It may take different forms, you may find yourself saying things differently than I do, or you may picture your dark little voice differently, but I can tell you that the voice is there for everyone. I hope that it can be vanquished forever, and that spot of darkness can be banished by the light eventually, but I will be honest and tell you that I think it will remain there for my whole life, no matter how hidden it remains.
It is my hope to be part of a change, a change that means future generations of people grow up without ever hearing a dark whisper like mine. I write these blog entries and speak up about H@ES and the mindset that goes with it so that children have a chance to live their lives without ever fighting the battle against their own head, so that they don't have to struggle for over forty years just to learn to love themselves. No one should hate themselves for that long, and the companies who encourage that self-hatred just so that they can make a profit should be ashamed of themselves.
So yes, my children, I have my weak moments. I have times when I wonder what life would have been like if I had been slender instead of fat. I cry now and then, because for every two steps that we take forward in learning to appreciate people for themselves, fully and completely, rather than trying to change them to fit some kind of mythical ideal, we take one step backwards by allowing The Weight Loss Industry to dictate our political policies, our health system, and our minds. I live with the dichotomy of learning to love myself while remembering how much I have hated myself. I live with the hope that I will see the first generation to grow up without that self-hatred, and I live with the fear that it will never happen in my lifetime.
Even the surefooted stumble once in a while, and this is how I stumble. All that I can do when I take that fall, though, is to get back up and brush myself off then keep moving forward. It would be easier to just stay there, to give up and give in, to just say, "You're right. I'm fat because I'm weak-willed and worthless. Do with me as you will. Starve me, shame me, browbeat me. I give up." but I can't. I just can't. I am NOT weak-willed, I am NOT worthless. I will climb to my feet, rise onto my aching, arthritic legs and take the next step forward. I do it for myself, because I'm worth it, and I do it for those to come, because they are worth it too.
Even if you stumble, get up again. Continue to fight against anyone or anything who tries to tell you that you aren't worth it. Even if that person is yourself. You are worth it. We are all worth it.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Spreading the message, one confused teenager at a time
For the past ten years I have worked at a haunted theme park every October. I love doing it, though it is physically one of the most demanding jobs I've ever had. It can also be emotionally demanding as one of the goals of a haunted house is to create a world where the actors inside the house are no longer people to the patrons. The goal is to have the patrons lose that natural connection of human to human, and to consider the actors to really be zombies, cannibals, werewolves or whatever. Unfortunately, that can be a double-edged sword. When the patrons lose that connection, they believe for that short time that the creatures chasing them ARE real and they get the adrenaline rush of danger and the accompanying release. However, they also tend to treat the people working at the haunted house poorly at times, saying things and doing things they would never do to another "real person".
I learned that lesson during my first season, when people would regularly make comments about how fat I was. The Manager of my house was also a good friend, and the night that he found me outside my exit door, sitting on a railroad tie, curled into a ball and sobbing in the midst of a light rain, he just held me and told me what jerks people are and how great I was and that everything would be all right. I will always hold him dearly in my heart for that.
Over time I found that the best way to combat the unusually aggressive tendencies that patrons have at the haunt was to beat them to the punch. I was moved out to a greeter position, where I wasn't scaring people but rather giving them the rules of the house and a feel for what was waiting for them inside. I created a clown character named Miss Chiff, The Fat Lady. By introducing myself that way, I cut the people who wanted to insult me with fat comments off at the knees. It still hurt a bit, though, but it was better to take away their weapon than to let them use it.
Now, nine years later, I am a House Manager. I am the one to comfort, scold, encourage, and otherwise mother my actors. I still deal with the public as I have to keep a close eye on the line in front of my House to try and keep it from becoming a seething ball of hate as people wait for an hour to get inside. To do this, I have to move around within the line. This means asking people to move aside. I generally do this by loudly repeating, "Excuse me folks! Short, fat lady with a radio coming through!"
I am short. I am fat. These two words carry the same level of (pardon the pun) weight with me now. They are descriptives and nothing more. I amuse myself by saying it this way, AND I give people notice that they're going to have to give me a bit more room to get by than if someone skinnier were asking to get through. I now believe that while it serves the secondary purpose of disarming those who would try to use my size as a weapon, putting it this way mainly serves the purpose of creating an opportunity to spread the message one confused teenager at a time.
And currently someone somewhere is asking, "Um....Lys? What do you mean by that?"
Quite simply, I can let them know by example that words only have power when we give them that power over us. Inevitably some kind-hearted soul will blurt out, "But you're not fat." because they think I'm putting myself down. This lets me stop and say, "But I AM fat, and that's okay. It's just a word, and it describes my physical shape. It doesn't describe anything else about me. I'm fat, and I'm smart, beautiful, confident, and worthwhile. Being fat doesn't take any of those other things away from me."
Sometimes they try to still console me, but after a few repetitions they either get it or they don't. Some will just look confused, because this is a concept that they have heard denied for so long by The Weight Loss Industry and mass media, that it is just too much to wrap their heads around. I hope that the confused ones think about it and eventually get it.
Every once in a while, though, I see a gleam come from someone's eye. They get it. Sometimes it is a fat person who is nearby, who has never heard those sentiments expressed before, and who has never realized that they can BE fat, smart, beautiful, confident and worthwhile all at the same time. Sometimes it is a teenager who may not be fat, but maybe has something else that they feel ashamed about, and I can see the startlement in their eyes, the wonder that someone whom society says should be ashamed is standing up and taking ownership of the very thing society dislikes, then throwing that dislike aside and accepting themselves for who and what they are.
It may not be a huge thing that I'm doing, it may only be one pebble thrown into the pond of fat hate, body shaming, and bullying, but every pebble creates ripples. I hope that my ripples spread far and wide, and help someone somewhere the next time that someone tries to use words as a weapon against them.
So world, look out! There's a short, fat lady with a radio coming through!
I learned that lesson during my first season, when people would regularly make comments about how fat I was. The Manager of my house was also a good friend, and the night that he found me outside my exit door, sitting on a railroad tie, curled into a ball and sobbing in the midst of a light rain, he just held me and told me what jerks people are and how great I was and that everything would be all right. I will always hold him dearly in my heart for that.
Over time I found that the best way to combat the unusually aggressive tendencies that patrons have at the haunt was to beat them to the punch. I was moved out to a greeter position, where I wasn't scaring people but rather giving them the rules of the house and a feel for what was waiting for them inside. I created a clown character named Miss Chiff, The Fat Lady. By introducing myself that way, I cut the people who wanted to insult me with fat comments off at the knees. It still hurt a bit, though, but it was better to take away their weapon than to let them use it.
Now, nine years later, I am a House Manager. I am the one to comfort, scold, encourage, and otherwise mother my actors. I still deal with the public as I have to keep a close eye on the line in front of my House to try and keep it from becoming a seething ball of hate as people wait for an hour to get inside. To do this, I have to move around within the line. This means asking people to move aside. I generally do this by loudly repeating, "Excuse me folks! Short, fat lady with a radio coming through!"
I am short. I am fat. These two words carry the same level of (pardon the pun) weight with me now. They are descriptives and nothing more. I amuse myself by saying it this way, AND I give people notice that they're going to have to give me a bit more room to get by than if someone skinnier were asking to get through. I now believe that while it serves the secondary purpose of disarming those who would try to use my size as a weapon, putting it this way mainly serves the purpose of creating an opportunity to spread the message one confused teenager at a time.
And currently someone somewhere is asking, "Um....Lys? What do you mean by that?"
Quite simply, I can let them know by example that words only have power when we give them that power over us. Inevitably some kind-hearted soul will blurt out, "But you're not fat." because they think I'm putting myself down. This lets me stop and say, "But I AM fat, and that's okay. It's just a word, and it describes my physical shape. It doesn't describe anything else about me. I'm fat, and I'm smart, beautiful, confident, and worthwhile. Being fat doesn't take any of those other things away from me."
Sometimes they try to still console me, but after a few repetitions they either get it or they don't. Some will just look confused, because this is a concept that they have heard denied for so long by The Weight Loss Industry and mass media, that it is just too much to wrap their heads around. I hope that the confused ones think about it and eventually get it.
Every once in a while, though, I see a gleam come from someone's eye. They get it. Sometimes it is a fat person who is nearby, who has never heard those sentiments expressed before, and who has never realized that they can BE fat, smart, beautiful, confident and worthwhile all at the same time. Sometimes it is a teenager who may not be fat, but maybe has something else that they feel ashamed about, and I can see the startlement in their eyes, the wonder that someone whom society says should be ashamed is standing up and taking ownership of the very thing society dislikes, then throwing that dislike aside and accepting themselves for who and what they are.
It may not be a huge thing that I'm doing, it may only be one pebble thrown into the pond of fat hate, body shaming, and bullying, but every pebble creates ripples. I hope that my ripples spread far and wide, and help someone somewhere the next time that someone tries to use words as a weapon against them.
So world, look out! There's a short, fat lady with a radio coming through!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Kermit had it right!
"It's not easy being green." - Kermit the Frog
It is really a bit of an irony, isn't it? It's not easy being different, but everyone is different from everyone else. So while we should be celebrating our differences, we spend our lives trying to be just like everyone else who is trying to be like everyone else! It makes your mind spin sometimes, keeping it straight, doesn't it?
Today, though, I'm talking about being fat. (I know, what a change of subject for me! *laugh*) Not only being fat, but being fat and loving yourself. This is one of the hardest things I've ever attempted in my life.
Note that I said "attempted" not one of the hardest things I've ever done. You see, I'm still at the beginning of the journey compared to a lot of the Health at Every Size proponents who blog. I've barely put my feet onto the path that they have all tread already, and I'm finding it to be a Herculean task in many ways. I'm finding that it isn't very intuitive at all after a lifetime of being barraged with the message that I'm just not good enough as I am. The old habits have been ingrained deeply, and for every success that I have, I deal with three or four old demons coming back to haunt me.
Some activities make shove my old self-hatred in my face rather violently. For example, last week I was in the position of needing a specific piece of clothing for an upcoming event. I need a top that is reminiscent of the late 1940's / early 1950's, the kind of clothing that women wore when they had their hair up in victory rolls and wore dresses, heels and aprons to dust the house.
It is hard enough to shop for clothes when you have very basic restrictions like "I need a pair of jeans" or "I just want a couple of new tops", but when you add very specific needs into the mix, it becomes an exercise in fortitude, patience, and self-hatred. After nearly three solid hours of internet searches using sites I'd already bookmarked and seeking new sites to look at, I was still completely and totally without options. That was when my Demons made their move.
"I am such a blob. I don't deserve pretty clothes because I would just look like a lump in them anyway. Who cares? I didn't want to go to that event anyway."
Welcome to the typical thoughts that run through the head of someone who is fat in America. Let's break it down, though, shall we?
"I am such a blob." - Actually, no, I'm not. Though I will admit that I am shaped a bit like a Shmoo (look it up if you don't know what that is), and that my shape is round, I have many more positive characteristics than a blob. Blobs are faceless, amorphous beings that lack any distinctive traits. I have plenty of distinctive traits, including amazing blue eyes, a laugh that makes others happy just hearing it, baby-soft long brown hair, curvy hips, and a vibrant personality. Thus, the blob analogy fails on multiple fronts.
"I don't deserve pretty clothes because I would just look like a lump in them anyway." - If I look like a lump in my clothes, then it is the fault of the clothes and the designers who create them for not making things that flatter my shape. But if you suggest that designers create clothes specifically for fat people, most will get a look of unadulterated horror on their faces. There was an episode of "Ruby" on the Style Network where a group of design students were asked to design clothes for Ruby, and their reactions ranged from reluctant to downright horrified. Of course, once they did it and they met her, it was different. It wasn't just "a fat person", it was a person they'd spoken to and gotten to know. But that is the attitude that is encouraged in the design world, and it isn't possible to ask every designer to hang out with a fat person for a day to change their minds. The design world needs to step up to the plate and change those attitudes from within. If they don't do it out of a sense of social responsibility, they should at LEAST do it out of a sense of financial responsibility. There are a lot more of us fat folks than there are of them, and we have money to spend for the designer who comes out with a line of flattering clothes!
"Who cares?" - I do. If I didn't, then it wouldn't hurt so much when I have to struggle to do something that takes slender people five or ten minutes to do. I care that I'm made to feel like a second-class citizen just because I want nice clothing that fits me well. I care that society repeatedly tells me in this manner and in other ways that I am worth less than people who look smaller. I care that I am constantly judged by my appearance and found wanting, though I am just as smart, just as talented, just as nice, and just as healthy as many people half my size. If I didn't care, then I wouldn't cry.
"I didn't want to go to that event anyway." - Yes, I did. Yes, I do. Yes, I am. I have found something, though it still isn't exactly what I need. But it is close enough that I won't stand out horribly. Even if I hadn't found something, I was still going to go to the event. I refuse to let myself miss out on things that I enjoy because of my size. Not any more. I have hidden for too many years, and I have stepped back out of line too many times. Too many other fat people let the world shove them away and convince themselves that they didn't want to do it anyway rather than stand up and say, "I have every right to be here too."
So Kermit had it right. It's not easy being green, or fat, or any number of other things. It is downright hard. But to quote Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan in "A League of Their Own":
"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great."
I hope that someday everyone DOES love themselves, and that it stops being hard. I think that if loving ourselves stops being hard, it will still be great.
It is really a bit of an irony, isn't it? It's not easy being different, but everyone is different from everyone else. So while we should be celebrating our differences, we spend our lives trying to be just like everyone else who is trying to be like everyone else! It makes your mind spin sometimes, keeping it straight, doesn't it?
Today, though, I'm talking about being fat. (I know, what a change of subject for me! *laugh*) Not only being fat, but being fat and loving yourself. This is one of the hardest things I've ever attempted in my life.
Note that I said "attempted" not one of the hardest things I've ever done. You see, I'm still at the beginning of the journey compared to a lot of the Health at Every Size proponents who blog. I've barely put my feet onto the path that they have all tread already, and I'm finding it to be a Herculean task in many ways. I'm finding that it isn't very intuitive at all after a lifetime of being barraged with the message that I'm just not good enough as I am. The old habits have been ingrained deeply, and for every success that I have, I deal with three or four old demons coming back to haunt me.
Some activities make shove my old self-hatred in my face rather violently. For example, last week I was in the position of needing a specific piece of clothing for an upcoming event. I need a top that is reminiscent of the late 1940's / early 1950's, the kind of clothing that women wore when they had their hair up in victory rolls and wore dresses, heels and aprons to dust the house.
It is hard enough to shop for clothes when you have very basic restrictions like "I need a pair of jeans" or "I just want a couple of new tops", but when you add very specific needs into the mix, it becomes an exercise in fortitude, patience, and self-hatred. After nearly three solid hours of internet searches using sites I'd already bookmarked and seeking new sites to look at, I was still completely and totally without options. That was when my Demons made their move.
"I am such a blob. I don't deserve pretty clothes because I would just look like a lump in them anyway. Who cares? I didn't want to go to that event anyway."
Welcome to the typical thoughts that run through the head of someone who is fat in America. Let's break it down, though, shall we?
"I am such a blob." - Actually, no, I'm not. Though I will admit that I am shaped a bit like a Shmoo (look it up if you don't know what that is), and that my shape is round, I have many more positive characteristics than a blob. Blobs are faceless, amorphous beings that lack any distinctive traits. I have plenty of distinctive traits, including amazing blue eyes, a laugh that makes others happy just hearing it, baby-soft long brown hair, curvy hips, and a vibrant personality. Thus, the blob analogy fails on multiple fronts.
"I don't deserve pretty clothes because I would just look like a lump in them anyway." - If I look like a lump in my clothes, then it is the fault of the clothes and the designers who create them for not making things that flatter my shape. But if you suggest that designers create clothes specifically for fat people, most will get a look of unadulterated horror on their faces. There was an episode of "Ruby" on the Style Network where a group of design students were asked to design clothes for Ruby, and their reactions ranged from reluctant to downright horrified. Of course, once they did it and they met her, it was different. It wasn't just "a fat person", it was a person they'd spoken to and gotten to know. But that is the attitude that is encouraged in the design world, and it isn't possible to ask every designer to hang out with a fat person for a day to change their minds. The design world needs to step up to the plate and change those attitudes from within. If they don't do it out of a sense of social responsibility, they should at LEAST do it out of a sense of financial responsibility. There are a lot more of us fat folks than there are of them, and we have money to spend for the designer who comes out with a line of flattering clothes!
"Who cares?" - I do. If I didn't, then it wouldn't hurt so much when I have to struggle to do something that takes slender people five or ten minutes to do. I care that I'm made to feel like a second-class citizen just because I want nice clothing that fits me well. I care that society repeatedly tells me in this manner and in other ways that I am worth less than people who look smaller. I care that I am constantly judged by my appearance and found wanting, though I am just as smart, just as talented, just as nice, and just as healthy as many people half my size. If I didn't care, then I wouldn't cry.
"I didn't want to go to that event anyway." - Yes, I did. Yes, I do. Yes, I am. I have found something, though it still isn't exactly what I need. But it is close enough that I won't stand out horribly. Even if I hadn't found something, I was still going to go to the event. I refuse to let myself miss out on things that I enjoy because of my size. Not any more. I have hidden for too many years, and I have stepped back out of line too many times. Too many other fat people let the world shove them away and convince themselves that they didn't want to do it anyway rather than stand up and say, "I have every right to be here too."
So Kermit had it right. It's not easy being green, or fat, or any number of other things. It is downright hard. But to quote Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan in "A League of Their Own":
"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great."
I hope that someday everyone DOES love themselves, and that it stops being hard. I think that if loving ourselves stops being hard, it will still be great.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
The Perfect Reduction Plan
Step right up, Ladies and Gentlemen! Come right this way! You too can shed that unwanted weight, lose the very thing that is weighing you down and keeping you from happiness! That's right, I have discovered the Perfect Reduction Plan! And you know what? I am GIVING it away for free!!! You heard right, folks, I'm not charging one red cent for this Perfect Reduction Plan! So listen up and get ready to give it a try at NO RISK TO YOU!!!!
I can hear you now. "But Lys, I thought that you decided that diets were not the way to go, and that Health at Every Size was the logical way to approach your life? Now, suddenly, you're advocating a diet plan?"
No, I'm not. I'm advocating a reduction plan. Though I will admit that it is one of the hardest plans I've ever tried. I am advocating reducing the central tenet of life from four words to three. Let's stop living the religion of "Eat Less, Move More" and reduce that down to three words. What words?
"I am beautiful."
One of the heaviest weights that a fat person can carry around is the guilt that they feel for being fat. Our society has made this one of the greatest burdens we know right now. We blame way of life, we blame our parents, we blame our circumstances, but mostly we are given the message over and over again that it is our own choices that lead to the bulkiness of our bodies. Television, books, magazines, radio and movies all throw it at us over and over again that if we would only shake off the self-hatred that keeps us stuffing our faces with bacon double-cheeseburgers and chocolate, and if we would get our fat asses off the couch and walk a few hundred steps more per day, we would find ourselves slimming down to a size that is more acceptable to be viewed by others.
That's the thing, really. It isn't that other people want fatties to be healthier (though that is the "concern" that they use as justification for fat-bashing in its many forms), it is that they don't want to look at fat people. To them, fat is an uncomfortable thing. Fat isn't pretty to look at according to modern Western standards. Fat people make others uneasy because they're afraid that it may be catching. The fear that they may get fat someday too, and then be on the receiving end of the hatred rather than handing it out, that is a paralyzing thought for a lot of people. Women have been known to say things like, "If I ever got that fat, I would kill myself."
Really? You would rather DIE than live a happy and healthy life as a fat person??? What is wrong with our society that this kind of attitude is not only prevalent, but lauded?
But that's all right. As I said, I have the answer. Everyone, no matter their size, needs to start looking in the mirror every day and saying three words.
"I am beautiful."
I can tell you from experience, they're not easy to say. As a matter of fact, it is probably one of the hardest life-changing habits that I have tried to develop. Living on 500 calories a day was easier than looking myself in the eye in the mirror and saying, "I am beautiful." Even harder is looking in the mirror, saying the words, and believing them. I have been told my whole life that I'm NOT beautiful. Yes, there have been a few who have said that I am, and I have never believed them. But now I am making an effort to believe them, to believe me, and to know that I AM beautiful just as I am. Should I lose weight, I will be beautiful then, too. But right now it is more important to know that I am beautiful as I am, and if I decide to eat less it will be because I'm not that hungry. Should I decide to move more, it will be because I've found a type of movement that is fun and I enjoy and it makes me FEEL good.
So there you are. The world's most Perfect Reduction Plan. Lose the weight of shame, guilt, and "Eat Less, Move More". Reduce it down from four words to three.
"I am beautiful."
Say it. Believe it. Live it. Because you know what? You ARE beautiful. Just the way that you are.
Oh, and if you have a hard time with it, just imagine me standing next to you, looking into the mirror with you. We'll say it together every day.
"I am beautiful."
I can hear you now. "But Lys, I thought that you decided that diets were not the way to go, and that Health at Every Size was the logical way to approach your life? Now, suddenly, you're advocating a diet plan?"
No, I'm not. I'm advocating a reduction plan. Though I will admit that it is one of the hardest plans I've ever tried. I am advocating reducing the central tenet of life from four words to three. Let's stop living the religion of "Eat Less, Move More" and reduce that down to three words. What words?
"I am beautiful."
One of the heaviest weights that a fat person can carry around is the guilt that they feel for being fat. Our society has made this one of the greatest burdens we know right now. We blame way of life, we blame our parents, we blame our circumstances, but mostly we are given the message over and over again that it is our own choices that lead to the bulkiness of our bodies. Television, books, magazines, radio and movies all throw it at us over and over again that if we would only shake off the self-hatred that keeps us stuffing our faces with bacon double-cheeseburgers and chocolate, and if we would get our fat asses off the couch and walk a few hundred steps more per day, we would find ourselves slimming down to a size that is more acceptable to be viewed by others.
That's the thing, really. It isn't that other people want fatties to be healthier (though that is the "concern" that they use as justification for fat-bashing in its many forms), it is that they don't want to look at fat people. To them, fat is an uncomfortable thing. Fat isn't pretty to look at according to modern Western standards. Fat people make others uneasy because they're afraid that it may be catching. The fear that they may get fat someday too, and then be on the receiving end of the hatred rather than handing it out, that is a paralyzing thought for a lot of people. Women have been known to say things like, "If I ever got that fat, I would kill myself."
Really? You would rather DIE than live a happy and healthy life as a fat person??? What is wrong with our society that this kind of attitude is not only prevalent, but lauded?
But that's all right. As I said, I have the answer. Everyone, no matter their size, needs to start looking in the mirror every day and saying three words.
"I am beautiful."
I can tell you from experience, they're not easy to say. As a matter of fact, it is probably one of the hardest life-changing habits that I have tried to develop. Living on 500 calories a day was easier than looking myself in the eye in the mirror and saying, "I am beautiful." Even harder is looking in the mirror, saying the words, and believing them. I have been told my whole life that I'm NOT beautiful. Yes, there have been a few who have said that I am, and I have never believed them. But now I am making an effort to believe them, to believe me, and to know that I AM beautiful just as I am. Should I lose weight, I will be beautiful then, too. But right now it is more important to know that I am beautiful as I am, and if I decide to eat less it will be because I'm not that hungry. Should I decide to move more, it will be because I've found a type of movement that is fun and I enjoy and it makes me FEEL good.
So there you are. The world's most Perfect Reduction Plan. Lose the weight of shame, guilt, and "Eat Less, Move More". Reduce it down from four words to three.
"I am beautiful."
Say it. Believe it. Live it. Because you know what? You ARE beautiful. Just the way that you are.
Oh, and if you have a hard time with it, just imagine me standing next to you, looking into the mirror with you. We'll say it together every day.
"I am beautiful."
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The Last Acceptable Prejudice
The more that I look around, the more that I realize that fat-bashing really IS the last form of acceptable prejudice. Humanity has come a long way in just a few hundred years, really, moving past the obvious hatreds for the most part, things such as skin color and country of origin for example. Yes, there are still problems in those areas, still hold-outs who insist that they are better than someone else because of those factors, but for the most part that kind of narrow-minded thinking is considered to be offensive. Most (not all, but most) people look at the folks who express such views as ignorant bigots, and those who hold to that kind of thinking are generally scorned and / or pitied because they can't seem to move past their blindness.
After we freed ourselves of those lines of thought, we moved on to less obvious hatreds, things that may not necessarily be immediately visible, such as religion, homosexuality and political ideology. We're still struggling with being as open-minded about these ideas and ways of living, but overall as a species we are on the downhill side of a long uphill battle. And again, this is wonderful.
And then we come to fat people. The Size Acceptance Movement has nowhere near the support as the Gay Pride Movement or the various political parties. Every day we are blasted with continual messages about how The Fatties are ruining our country, how they are evil and pathetic, and how they are CHOOSING to remain that way despite the efforts of all of the Really Good People (not Fatties) to show them the error of their ways.
In the past two days I have seen articles on how fat people cost companies more money, how fat people have worse credit ratings than slender people, and how fat people drive up the cost of flying. Even worse than the articles themselves are the comments. Most of the time I don't read them because I already know what is coming. Small-minded people who are safely hidden behind the anonymity of their computer monitors spew vitriol and hate toward The Fatties. They call names, they point fingers, they talk about how fat people should stop stuffing their faces with fast food and potato chips and get up off their couches to do a little exercise for a change. The anger and the hatred is truly mind-boggling to me. I don't understand how anyone can have so much fury roiling around inside themselves toward people who have honestly never done a thing to deserve it.
I know that part of it is the fact that they don't have to look someone in the eye and say what they're typing. I think if they had to actually watch the faces of the people they were so casually throwing hateful words at, most of them would think twice. There would be a small minority who would say it anyway, because they are vicious and spiteful, but generally I think that people would "speak" differently if it were face to face. It is so easy to generalize and say cruel words when it is a generic mass of unknown that you are addressing.
It is growing more and more important that we all stand up and refuse to tolerate this kind of behaviour any more. Whether you are fat or slender, whether you are underweight, "normal" weight or overweight according the the medical establishment and The Diet Industry that runs it, it is your responsibility to reply to these people and let them know that their prejudice is no longer acceptable. To be honest, while I am a strong advocate of fat people standing up for themselves, this one time I will say that it is almost more important that people who are NOT fat speak up as well. I know, I know, that's not my usual style, to depend on someone else to fight a battle, but here is my line of thinking: Whenever a fat person steps up and says, "But this isn't right. I DON'T eat more than my not-fat friends, I DO exercise, my health is better than most of the not-fat people I know!" they get patted on the head and condescendingly told either that they are the exception (if people are being nice) or that they are outright lying. Fat people get told on a constant basis that we obviously HAVE to be eating more food and unhealthy food because if we WERE eating right and exercising, we obviously wouldn't be fat!
So the next time you see an article about how fat people are ruining the world, please go down to the comments and use some of the information that I try to pass along in this blog. If you want more ammunition, there are a lot of other Size Acceptance blogs and resources out there. A simple search for the terms "size acceptance" and "Health at Every Size" will provide you with a vast abundance of information refuting the oft-repeated half-truths that have been spoonfed to our populace so often that it is now taken as "well known fact" without anything to support it.
Please, when you read those insulting and demeaning comments, picture the face of any fat person that you know and love (because we ALL know fat people, there are too many fat people out there for anyone to claim that they don't), and imagine how they would look if someone said that to them. Take that thought and use it to fuel your determination NOT to allow that kind of behaviour to go unchallenged, because when we let it stand without calling the perpetrators out, well, then we condone it via our inaction.
Let's add Fat Hating to the list of UNacceptable prejudices. That is one list that I would love to see continue to grow until there was nothing left to add.
After we freed ourselves of those lines of thought, we moved on to less obvious hatreds, things that may not necessarily be immediately visible, such as religion, homosexuality and political ideology. We're still struggling with being as open-minded about these ideas and ways of living, but overall as a species we are on the downhill side of a long uphill battle. And again, this is wonderful.
And then we come to fat people. The Size Acceptance Movement has nowhere near the support as the Gay Pride Movement or the various political parties. Every day we are blasted with continual messages about how The Fatties are ruining our country, how they are evil and pathetic, and how they are CHOOSING to remain that way despite the efforts of all of the Really Good People (not Fatties) to show them the error of their ways.
In the past two days I have seen articles on how fat people cost companies more money, how fat people have worse credit ratings than slender people, and how fat people drive up the cost of flying. Even worse than the articles themselves are the comments. Most of the time I don't read them because I already know what is coming. Small-minded people who are safely hidden behind the anonymity of their computer monitors spew vitriol and hate toward The Fatties. They call names, they point fingers, they talk about how fat people should stop stuffing their faces with fast food and potato chips and get up off their couches to do a little exercise for a change. The anger and the hatred is truly mind-boggling to me. I don't understand how anyone can have so much fury roiling around inside themselves toward people who have honestly never done a thing to deserve it.
I know that part of it is the fact that they don't have to look someone in the eye and say what they're typing. I think if they had to actually watch the faces of the people they were so casually throwing hateful words at, most of them would think twice. There would be a small minority who would say it anyway, because they are vicious and spiteful, but generally I think that people would "speak" differently if it were face to face. It is so easy to generalize and say cruel words when it is a generic mass of unknown that you are addressing.
It is growing more and more important that we all stand up and refuse to tolerate this kind of behaviour any more. Whether you are fat or slender, whether you are underweight, "normal" weight or overweight according the the medical establishment and The Diet Industry that runs it, it is your responsibility to reply to these people and let them know that their prejudice is no longer acceptable. To be honest, while I am a strong advocate of fat people standing up for themselves, this one time I will say that it is almost more important that people who are NOT fat speak up as well. I know, I know, that's not my usual style, to depend on someone else to fight a battle, but here is my line of thinking: Whenever a fat person steps up and says, "But this isn't right. I DON'T eat more than my not-fat friends, I DO exercise, my health is better than most of the not-fat people I know!" they get patted on the head and condescendingly told either that they are the exception (if people are being nice) or that they are outright lying. Fat people get told on a constant basis that we obviously HAVE to be eating more food and unhealthy food because if we WERE eating right and exercising, we obviously wouldn't be fat!
So the next time you see an article about how fat people are ruining the world, please go down to the comments and use some of the information that I try to pass along in this blog. If you want more ammunition, there are a lot of other Size Acceptance blogs and resources out there. A simple search for the terms "size acceptance" and "Health at Every Size" will provide you with a vast abundance of information refuting the oft-repeated half-truths that have been spoonfed to our populace so often that it is now taken as "well known fact" without anything to support it.
Please, when you read those insulting and demeaning comments, picture the face of any fat person that you know and love (because we ALL know fat people, there are too many fat people out there for anyone to claim that they don't), and imagine how they would look if someone said that to them. Take that thought and use it to fuel your determination NOT to allow that kind of behaviour to go unchallenged, because when we let it stand without calling the perpetrators out, well, then we condone it via our inaction.
Let's add Fat Hating to the list of UNacceptable prejudices. That is one list that I would love to see continue to grow until there was nothing left to add.
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