Dear Doctor Fatphobe

As any fat person can tell you, going to the doctor for even the most minor problem is a huge ordeal.  Unless you are one of the lucky few who has a doctor who treats you as a person instead of as a fat person, you are subjected to endless lectures, tsking, and forms of fat shaming.  It really is no wonder that a large number of fat people wait until their problems are serious to get medical help instead of seeking treatment when things could be caught early and dealt with easily.  When the people who are supposed to be helping you spend the whole time making you feel like dirt, it really isn't incentive to get you into their offices.

I am lucky.  I have had my doctor for around sixteen years, and we understand one another.  She slips every once in a while and starts to fall back into the flawed medical system mindset, but then snaps out of it with a simple comment from me about how I don't think that way and prefer to follow a Health at Every Size approach to things.  I can't blame her for those slips, she is surrounded by cult propaganda all day every day.  But generally my doctor visits aren't too bad, and we have a good working relationship.

Recently she decided she'd had enough of dealing with insurance companies and their interference in how she treated her patients.  The Husbeast and I totally supported her in this, as there was no reason for her to get penalized if my weight didn't go down to some arbitrary number or the like.  So she left her practice and joined another one, one that doesn't take insurance.  It is out of network for us, so involves more paperwork and we have to pay up front, but she's an excellent doctor and we like her, so we don't mind.

Let me amend that a little.  I don't mind, as long as I get to see her when I go in.  Two of the last three times I have gone in, I have seen the other doctor in the practice. I am telling you know, that in the future, no matter what my condition, I am calling to see if MY doctor is in and taking patients that day before I go in. If she is not, then I am going to urgent care instead. The following letter is to the other doctor in the practice, the doctor who I shall call Dr. Fatphobe.

Dear Dr. Fatphobe:

I was recently in your office and my doctor was away for the day.  This is the second time that has happened, and as far as I am concerned it is the last.  I have given you two chances, and both times I walked out of the office incoherent with rage at the things you said and did.

To begin with, I would like to point out that just because I am fat, it does NOT give you any excuse to speak condescendingly to me.  The fact that I had to pull out my coldest 'shut down' tone to get you to stop lecturing me about my life choices, even though you have no idea what they are since you didn't bother to ask about my typical diet or exercise habits, did not start the appointment off on the right foot.  And, by the way, trying to sell me your weight loss book during our first appointment together did not really make a great first impression.  Rather, it made me take an instant dislike that this second appointment only confirmed.

I have been diabetic for some time now.  I know what a1C is, and I know that it is different from the numbers that I test for in the mornings.  I also know that I do not have the equipment to test for a1C at home, so it is impossible for me to track on my own. You should know that as well, so do NOT treat me as an idiot and start simplistically docsplaining the difference to me.  You asked how my blood sugars have been running, I answered with the information available to me. If you wanted to know how my a1C's had been running, you should have asked, and I would have politely informed you of the fact that I cannot test for those at home (a fact you should already know).

Lastly, when my blood pressure reading is within the normal range, I do NOT feel that it is acceptable to prescribe me a blood pressure medication just because I am fat.  Especially when I have previously expressed a distrust of statins and the damage that they do to the body.  I do not feel that the good they do outweighs their dangers, especially in my situation where my blood pressure is NORMAL TO BEGIN WITH!  So, thank you for completely disregarding my feelings and including the prescription in with the others anyway.  The pharmacy filled it...and it is sitting on my counter, where it will remain...unused...until I find a safe disposal site to get rid of it.

You, Dr. Fatphobe, are an ass.  You do not listen to me because you seem to feel that my being fat means that I am too stupid and / or irresponsible to know anything about my own health.  That condescending dismissiveness of yours has been experienced by me for the last time.  I shall no longer accept you as a physician.  If you are the only one in the office, I shall either come back on another day, or go to urgent care.  I will let my own doctor know how unhappy I am with how you treated me, and that I refuse to ever see you again.  I deserve better than you offer, and unlike so many who still suffer under the weight of society's teachings, I have learned that I have the right to tell you just what I think and where you can go..and I am now doing so.

Do not expect to ever see me again, unless it is to be walking past one another as I see your partner at your practice.

No love, or like, or even kind consideration,

The Fat Lady

(Note:  It has been pointed out to me that statins are for cholesterol, not blood pressure.  Now, it is possible that he misspoke, or that I misheard.  I am not sure which it is.  My cholesterol numbers are also fine as of my last testing, so either way, I don't need the medication.  I don't discount the idea that I misheard as I am human and I was so furious at that point in time I was pretty much at my limits.  Either way, the medication was prescribed for fatness, not for a legitimate medical condition.)