Sunday, February 9, 2014

How to win friends and influence people...or how Saul Rubinek of television's Warehouse 13 will never forget me!

Note:  Some rather salty language in this, so if you're not comfortable with that you might want to skip the post, but if you do you're missing some funny stuff! :)

So I spent my weekend working Sci Fi Expo.  

My job was to sit next to Allison Scagliotti (she is one of the stars of Warehouse 13) and be her assistant.  This includes taking the money for the autographs / photos / etc, making sure she has everything she needs, politely getting the people who just won’t move on to realize that others are waiting, and herd whatever cats need to be herded.  I had a blast.  Allison is a sweet young woman and genuinely appreciated the work I was doing for her. 

We were seated in a row of tables with a lineup of stars from the television shows Warehouse 13 and Defiance.  So next to Allison was Saul Rubinek, also of Warehouse 13.  They had a lot of fun, riffing off of each other and joking around.  It makes sense, as they have worked together for 5 years or so, and are very comfortable with one another. 

Saul Rubinek is one of those men who has an amazing poker face, and an extremely dry sense of humor. A lot of people are unsure whether to laugh, be insulted, or be shocked at the things he says.  Most of the time, though, you really can laugh.  He’s hilarious even if you can’t tell he’s laughing because, like I said, the man has a totally winning poker face!

So there we are rocking through the weekend and everything is going fine.  Then I attempted to gash open Mr. Rubinek’s face.  Okay, I didn’t decide to do this on purpose, and it probably would only have been a LITTLE blood if it had happened, but still…it is not good for continued employment (or volunteering) if you manage to actually injure one of the major guests!

Mr. Rubinek has a particular photo from a particular show where his character’s tagline is something like, “If you do that again, I will FUCKING HAVE YOU KILLED!”.  He stood up on a chair and announced to the entire line of people waiting for his autograph that anyone who bought that photo would get that tagline written on it with the word “fucking” in HUGE red letters.  This, of course, made that photo sell like hotcakes when people started coming up to the table!

He had one photo that he had already written it on, and he wanted to hang that photo on the big banner behind him.  I noticed what they were doing as Allison was gone to lunch and I wasn’t busy right then.  I offered the roll of Scotch tape I had sitting next to me.  When I went to throw it to Betsie (his Guest Escort), a little of the sticky part of the tape caught on my finger and skewed my throw.  This meant that the little plastic roll of tape went flying toward Saul’s face with the sharp tape-cutting part in the fore.  

Yeah, right?  Wouldn’t that have been GREAT? 

Television News Anchor:  “Warehouse 13 star Saul Rubinek was rushed to the hospital today when a volunteer at Sci Fi Expo, where he was signing autographs, gouged out his eye by accident.  Story at 11!” *snerk*

Luckily both Saul and Betsie have great reflexes, and they both managed to reach up to knock the tape away before it made contact!  Phew!  But wow…did he give me a LOOK!  Then he kind of grinned very briefly and made sure that I knew he wasn’t really mad or anything.  I’m glad, because if he really WERE giving that kind of look, I would probably have just offered him a sword right then and there (if I’d had one) and let him cut me down. *LOL*

But this isn’t why Saul Rubinek called me “unforgettable”.  Oh no, kids, this is just the prologue!  There’s more!!!!

The day continued, and the whole group had gone to lunch then on to their Q&A session.  They started trickling back from the Q&A separately.  Eddie McClintock (another Warehouse 13 star) came back first, and then Saul stepped out of the curtain behind our tables less than two seconds later.  Eddie’s line gave a huge cheer when he came out, and when Saul came out there was a spattering of cheers, but nothing near what Eddie had gotten, so I stood up and called to the crowd, “You can do better than that, come on!” and got them to cheer a bit more.  Still not nearly enough, though, so I sat down again and looked at Saul. 

This is the moment when I should have just kept my mouth shut.  Lips should have stayed clamped together.  Teeth should have locked.  But did I?  Oh no!  Of course not!  I opened my mouth and before I could censor them, before I could push back the influence that my husbeast, Shado, was apparently remotely exerting on me from elsewhere in the building, I said it. 

“That was sad.”

*headdesk*  *headdesk*  *headdesk*

Saul stared at me.  And stared.  And I realized just how that sounded and was flabbergasted at how I could have managed to completely lose any sense of proper phrasing in any way, shape or form.  And Saul stared some more. 

I believe I may have literally facepalmed as I burst out laughing and apologizing all at once. 

“I meant THEM, not you!!!!”

Yeah.  Saul stared at me some more and lifted a brow.

Finally I just said, “What???” while trying to stop laughing and stop wanting to sink under the table.

“Oh, I’m just waiting for you to blush.” He replied.

Luckily, I have a rare skill.  I can blush on command sometimes.  Weird, right?  So I blushed.  A nice, bright red, just for him.

At this point, Jaime Murray, one of the stars of Defiance who was sitting on my other side asked what happened, so Saul turns to her and says, “You have to hear how this exchange went, Jaime!  I came out, and she told the crowd, ‘You can cheer louder than that’ and when they stopped she looked at me and said ‘That was sad’.”

Now I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t really talk but I tried to interject, “You’re editing!” but he shushed me and just looked at me again, then looked at Jaime.  She was now laughing, and proceeded to lean forward around me and call down to him every time another line cheered, “Much better than you got, Saul.”, or other such comments.

Allison got back then (thank goodness!) and we all got back down to the business of signing autographs, but that wasn’t the end of it.  Later, when there was another moment that Allison was away from the table and no one happened to be in line, he looked over at me again and I said, “You must hate me by now.”  The reply I got was both gratifying and horribly embarrassing.  He grinned suddenly, with this bright twinkle appearing in his eyes and said, “No, I think you’re funny.  I’ll definitely never forget you.”

I laughed with him and said, “This isn’t really how I WANT to be remembered.”

“Maybe, but it is definitely how I will remember you.” He said with another grin.  And then we had to get back to signings and chattings and general being hospitable-ings.

So, not only did I almost draw blood from Saul Rubinek, but I got him to tell me that I’m unforgettable.

Between that and getting to hang out with Allison for two days, it was the best…weekend…evahr!

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