I am getting ready to make a big step, a bigger step than I've made in my life in a long, long time. You see, Dear Readers, approximately one month ago I came back to work from a 2-week vacation. During that time I had been able to relax, but I had also been able to get things done that I needed to get done WHEN I needed to do them. I was able to work on my business, and do creative things like read, write, color, and cross-stitch. My migraines were few and minor compared to normal. I felt happy and rested.
And then I went back to work. I lasted two days before I found myself sitting at my desk and emailing The Husbeast with the words, "I can't do this any more.". I went over our budget, and nearly every dollar I was making was going toward extras like eating out or entertainment. So he emailed me back with the simple sentence,"Do what you have to do." and ten minutes later I was talking to my boss in the small conference room and giving my notice. Because of circumstances at work, I gave a very extensive notice, six weeks to be exact, because I don't like to leave things unfinished and we were in the middle of some major software and procedure changes.
Now I have two weeks, seven workdays really, left before I turn in my badge and walk out of the building for good. With every day that passes the terror-filled "Oh my gods, WHAT AM I DOING?" feelings become fewer and fewer and the excitement grows. I have lists upon lists of things I need to do. There are lists of things I need to catch up on for my business, lists of things I want to do going forward for my business, lists of things I want to get done around the house, lists of stories I want to write, lists of craft projects I want to complete, lists of books I want to read, lists of online courses I want to take, and so on.
I know, I know, you're saying, "But Lys, you're doing this so you can work on your business, aren't you? How do crafting and reading and writing and so on fit in there?"
You wouldn't think that it would make a difference, would you? But what I found over those two weeks of vacation was that by giving my mind time to be creative again, by writing and crafting and all of the other -ings I was doing, I was stretching my brain. It had become cramped, shaped like the walls of the cube I sat in every day at work, and with that slow solidification all of my exuberance for my own business started leaking away. The thing that I loved doing became just another chore. I could feel myself starting to resent the idea of going to the kitchen rather than looking forward to it. I wanted to find excuses to miss going to market days instead of being excited about introducing new people to my products. The flourescent lights and glare of the computer screen were slowly leeching away my enthusiasm and leaving me as an ennui-filled husk.
That two weeks, that stretching of my brain, re-ignited some of my joy and my creativity. I went to the kitchen at the end of that second week with all kinds of flavor ideas teeming in my brain. I couldn't wait to try new combinations! I diced, smooshed, simmered, and boiled my way through almost fifteen hours of steamy kitchen time and came out with flavors I'd never made before. Good flavors, flavors that intrigue people, flavors that people ENJOY!
THAT is my joy! That is what I love. And in another two weeks, THAT will be the center of my day again! But I will also make sure that I have time to do all of those other creative things to help my brain keep stretching. I will also make sure that there is time to work on Project Wiley - The Great Decluttering to make our home less crowded, a more relaxing place to be and an easier place to take care of on limited time.
There are still flashes of panic now and then about money, but I know this is the right thing to do. I'm already making plans for which shows I want to rent booth space at, and how much more inventory I'll need to make next year. It is going to be GREAT!
